How To: Survive An Apocalyptic Disaster - AskMen

How To: Survive An Apocalyptic Disaster

We have good news and bad news for you. The bad news is that the planet has been devastated by a nuclear catastrophe that has transformed 90% of the population into mindless, flesh-eating zombies. Their appetites are ravenous, their might is awesome and they’re growing in number by the hour. The good news is that they’ve already devoured your in-laws.

Although no one anticipated the magnitude of this momentous tragedy, you can still come out alive if you follow our comprehensive guide to surviving apocalyptic disasters. From doing battle with the undead to finding adequate supplies, our handy primer will aid you through this and other manners of colossal calamities. Mama always said there'd be days like this.

Shield yourself from the blast

The blast from a nuclear explosion can cause severe injury and death. Therefore you’ll need to shield yourself from the force of the explosion as well as from the ensuing heat and radiation. If possible, try to take refuge in a basement, in a car or under furniture. If you’re strolling through your neighborhood at the time of the disaster, you should seek shelter in a ditch or behind a hill. Regardless of how you choose to shield yourself, it’s important to remember that each of these suggestions is only a temporary solution. In order to minimize the time you are exposed to the dangers of radiation you should try to...

Find shelter

If your environment has been affected by nuclear fallout you’ll need to find adequate shelter immediately. Rather than looking for the perfect three-bedroom property with a patio and swimming pool, your priority should be to put mass between you and the radiation source. The thicker the mass, the more radiation it stops, so buildings made out of concrete, metal or even lead are your best bets. According to experts, the thickness required to stop 99% of  radiation is: 5 inches of steel, 16 inches of solid brick, 2 feet of packed earth or 3 feet of water. The good news is that radiation levels should decrease with every passing hour, so you’ll eventually be safe to roam the streets without having to worry about your face resembling a Picasso painting.

Arm yourself

Imagine a creature with the IQ of a postal worker and the personality of a trial lawyer, and you have a zombie. These deadly ghouls want nothing more than to dine on your still-beating heart and they’ll stop at nothing to do so. Fortunately for you, they’re easier to kill than a one-legged hamster. According to films like Night of the Living Dead, these vile creatures can be terminated with a bullet or sharp blow to the head. Chainsaws mounted into your arm also do the trick nicely. Cremating zombies and the recently dead will prevent them from rising again. Hey, everyone loves a barbecue!

What supplies you need in order to survive apocalyptic disasters...