You Need to Do These 2 Hard Things to Be Happy

2023-05-08 23:25:12

Comments

  1. I absolutely love your point about being a watcher of your thoughts. This is something I’ve been learning to do slowly over the past few weeks with your help. After I joined your Back To Happy course I really committed myself to letting go of the uncontrollable circumstances that have been stressing me out. My life may never be the way I thought it was going to be, but by letting go of some of my ideals I’ve been able to take significant steps forward despite my somewhat tragic circumstances. Like you alluded to in this post, I’m floating more and struggling less, and that’s really making a world of difference.

    Anyway, thanks of the continued direct and indirect support. And I love the casual conversation in the video you embedded in this post. Not scripted. About family. Incredibly sincere.

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  2. M&A, this post as a whole is a wonderful reminder of some key principles for working to be happier. I’m so glad it arrived in my inbox today. And I couldn’t agree more that you have to do the hard things to be happier in life, especially in the long term. The seeds we plant today grow over time.

    For me, the point that jumped out the most at this moment was the presence and lack of presence with your son that you mentioned in the video. I have a young daughter, and I work from home, and I know I’m guilty of not being present enough with her when I’m home. I do exactly what you said — I often mix business tine and family time, and I end up doing a poor job on both fronts. It’s hard to stay organized and focused and present, so I really appreciate the reminder.

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  3. I love that you ended this article with “when you think better, you live better.” I actually attended your most recent (i think) Think Better seminar in S. Florida and this article brought me back to a few of the incredibly helpful principles I learned from you and your guest speakers. I have honestly done my best to live by these principles ever since.

    Oh, and “Just wash your dishes!” So simple, and yet such a profound reminder to do the little hard things that need to be done to live a happier and more sane life. Thanks for that!

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  4. #2 – When calm, I can do it. When in a situation that arouses strong emotions it is difficult. I need to build a string of cues to create the breath, witness, let go sequence. Hard to shift the mind from the building fire of emotions/reactions and switch to the witness role separating self from the spiral. Good article. Thank you!

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    • I feel the same way it’s like my adrenaline kicks in & keeps acelerating & I can’t stop it 0-100 & boom panic attacks/ Aniexty- I’m a mess.

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  5. WOW, thank you for yet another wonderful read. I recognized myself here: “the root cause of most human stress is simply our stubborn propensity to hold on to stressful thoughts.” When stressful or negative thoughts creep in and they often do, I talk to myself, I say “STOP right here” to stop the old record from playing….. I find that I can catch myself right away, I have gained awareness, that is a first step!

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  6. This talked directly to me as if it was written for me.i like people who know and have firsthand experience about the advise they are contributing towards the people they sincerly want to help.Everything that was said is in my view high light points.I like the point where you metioned that i must become a witness about my thoughs and not to act so quicly upon it.think this is one of my major things i face.Thanks

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  7. I like how your posts correlate every time I read them in my current situation in life

    I’m in deep situation of (letting go)…this simple fact that my life is what I think not what it is..is really phenomenal!!

    Because there is no (is) there is (me)…& life happens (through) me not (to) me

    I love you
    God bless you

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  8. What if (in the case of my son) he isn’t motivated to make changes or see a need? He Thinks he is OK – “it is what it is” he is too easy going n doesn’t recognize how over burdened he is. Any advice anyone?

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  9. I NEEDED TO READ THIS!! I keep reading articles and blogs about not judging and letting go of the thoughts, letting them flow thru you, but I am SO stuck on what that looks like. I’m a thinker and I have always thought in flow charts and now that I know this is not a beneficial way to process life, I NEED assistance on what letting the thoughts pass looks like.

    Thank you so much for what you guys are doing!

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  10. Also, a little bit of advice is needed because I always go for stepping outside the box, but when things seem to drag along or since I’m a single parent I get work down, or I can’t see the good I want or thought would happen in a time I feel is adequate, I FREAK OUT! My thoughts are damaging, my outlook on life gets dim, I feel like I just should be listened to others and NOT tried to accomplish what I want… basically I become weak during the wait for the outcome…. Like I am now, I hope you guys can assist me because my 2 young men are looking at me and how I process things. The old ways that i am used to are NOT an acceptable option for them. Trying to change my thinking alone, (from Baptist to spiritual awareness) in the midst of stepping out of comfort zone with old friends and family who encourage you from the space you USED to be is difficult and I simply need help. New help. New ways of thinking.

    Okay I apologize for bugging you guys afain, just had to get that out! Be blessed and much love to you and your family.

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  11. Thank you for today’s post. Great. Specialy the floating story. Been reading you for some time now and there is always a good advise but today’s realy resonates with me. Thank you and look forward for new post

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  12. You guys have taught me a lot at 61 years old. I love your posts and videos. Thank You.
    Charles

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  13. I love the advice you give about being in the middle of a pool and trying to find something to hold onto. Sometimes we need to let go and relax and then we ate able to think more clearly. I am in an awkward situation at work now and need to make a choice to leave or stay. It is really making me feel uncomfortable. Making up my mind is really difficult but I think if use clear thoughts I will make the best decision
    Kathy

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  14. I really do enjoy reading all your posts. They give a more accurate truth to the way I see my life some days. I have had a lot of setbacks, such as being bullied, divorce, miscarriages, marriage & separation, burnt myself out from a lousy job I stayed at way too long & obtained a neck disability, lost my hubby to cancer last year but my daughter was saved the year prior to same…some days I can laugh hard at stupid jokes & other days I cry. Yesterday I pondered the ‘what to do next with my life’ while out on my little hot sunny patio & then did my dishes to cool off indoors. Right now, watching my tomato plants growing & looking beautiful. Watching my daughter move on with her life, for which I am eternally grateful. What’s next? Ummm I ponder. Thanks for the glimpse into self. I recently went from dyed blond hair to maple brown. Treated myself to a pretty dress & fake nails. L0L. Finding me with smiles. Kind regards for you.

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  15. Thank you M&A for yet another Wonderful read. Your write-ups always comes at the right time for me. What stood out for me, is, just because the world around me is confusing and chaotic, doesn’t mean the world within me has to be too.. I can get rid of all the confusion and chaos inside me created by others, the past, uncontrollable events or my general frame of mind. Most times I work on impulse. But I have learned to let this be a reminder to me today, to let the small annoyances go. Move through my day consciously. Make an effort to notice at least one insignificant little frustration that I would normally get frustrated about. Then do myself a favor and simply let it go.. Thank you so much for sharing your gifts with us. How do I join your classes? Magdalene

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  16. One of the best articles that I have come across so far. It works when you put the points mentioned above into actual practice. The same thoughts that bother you start feeling insignificant and something that do t really exist. Just like the swimming pool example. Just float and you will be fine. Being a witness of thoughts though hard, will definitely work and make one a very strong individual. Thanks guys.

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  17. Do the dishes…wow exactly! Its like taking a tiny bit of control in small bite size actions, that’s achievable without it overwhelming us. Something happened today at work and usually i can’t seem to switch off from that internal dialogue–its almost like when a song gets into your head and you can’t stop singing it. But today i said to myself, “I did the best i could with today” and that seemed to help me. I used to let work take over and consume me. I used to say to myself, “are you at work” and because i wasn’t i would say stop thinking about work then, the thing is this took time and i had to do it for a while but it really worked for me. Sometimes its hard when you overthink and you don’t often realise it’s a problem till you’re exhausted or ill. I really wish i had you guys around when i was younger, but now I’m having to learn your valuable advice at my age.
    thank you so much
    love Jacqueline

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  18. The one thing I have struggled with mostly is Being Present! My last relationship was a nightmare and I had to…. or thought I had to ….zone out! My ex would not even let me make my own tea, oatmeal, dinner, dishes, laundry or anything and now I am so afraid I can not do it anymore which is the ego! f I done everything all on my own. At 6 years old I remember my mother sick and I pulled a chair up to the stove and made her chicken noodle soup and brought it to her in her room. I still remember her face, “Thank-you Carrie!” You don’t realize how things can be taken away so softly! I am going to come back if it is the last thing I ever do on this earth! For me and the people I love!

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  19. Excellent reminders. Your emails and posts always move my life forward.

    Indeed, happiness isn’t always easy. Love the floating analogy. I’ve been holding on to too much lately–struggling to no end, for no good reason.

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  20. The idea to start with small steps like washing your dishes resonated with me. I have also found focusing my attention, for 5 minutes, on a task helps me stay on top of routine tasks. I set a timer & concentrate on bringing order to a “zone”; a bathroom sink, kitchen counter, or messy dresser. When the timer is up, I quit. I admire what I accomplished. Then I take time do something fun.

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  21. Again, it was the perfect moment for me to open my computer. The house is silent and I am alone other than my little dog in bed. I get stuck, depressed, and going to the garbage can, or even folding the clothes today were not easy and certainly not a thrill. For over three years now there has been event after event regarding my birth family, my adult children, and my marriage, that has created a deep pain within myself. I have not a clue as to why there is havoc intentionally created causing division and distrust amongst everyone. My husband in absent in our marriage. He is totally absent as there is no conversation, no going anywhere together, no vacation, no plans for life/retirement etc. I ask lots of questions regarding his reasons for this and I don’t get an answer. Last night he just got up from his chair around 6:30p.m. and went TO HIS ROOM and closed the door and didn’t return all night. I write a list each morning of what I want or need to do that day and then get scattered, or decide it can all just wait, or am overwhelmed at what he feels I should do alone. ( paint the entire house inside and out, climb on the roof and blow the leaves off, mow, trim, laundry, clean house, take care of cars, and this list goes on and on) I would love to be paid for what I do. I am 63 years young and he is 65 years old. I am tired of the nothingness of this life/marriage, and I want to do things. We have never gone to this huge lake that is a recreational place in 18 years that is only 20 miles away. When I’ve stepped out of the prison and taken a class or taken up a challenge, or totally succeeded in a project, or read things he would never read that may be technical/medical/legal, he gets upset and at times furious and I actually believe he is jealous. And, the birth family saga beats this one as it is most cruel, planned dissension, radically huge amounts of money or cars, trips, or a house given to others but these things always come with a price. I don’t play and don’t get and though that is a good thing it is not good or fun to see or hear as I would enjoy as well especially since my home life is as it is. However, let me say, that I thank God everyday for everything and I do mean everything. In a few weeks my husband has to have an operation. He has had his tests with more to come prior to his operation and then the bills will come, or even more and larger ones, So, I think I am numb, but I do end up having a couple of days each week that are awesome in my “accomplishments” that would virtually rock any man. I call myself one in fact!! I am grateful that you are out there somewhere and glad to have seen this e-mail tonight. And, I know what that silent pause is and what it feels like and it is awesome. I am Nationally Certified in Yoga and Meditation Training, and Cardiac Yoga and taught for over 10 years. I have thought about doing it for persons my age , but I am not into the term Senior as it is stereotypical and I do not fit that mold. I have been trying to let lose of much emotional pain and seek what to do next.

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    • Is it possible to get away for a few weeks or even the whole summer? Even a working vacation at a National Park where you can hike and swim in your off time. (often times housing is provided, or you can live in an RV). Or a job on a cruise ship teaching yoga or just working a cash register? And inform only NEED to know people of contact/forwarding address and your disposable cell phone number, (a cell phone you leave turned off, except to check messages). A total change of scenery can do wonders, even just a week vacation, or a weekend hiking in the Sierras, etc..
      Also, maybe consider joining a hiking club, or a kayaking club, or a book club. Something YOU enjoy that can be like a mini-vacation in your weekly life. Or taking a ritual daily walk OUTDOORS, can be very helpful to peace of mind, well-being when everything else seems like haywire…the routine, the walk, something for you everyday.
      Not knowing your obligations in life, not sure what would be do-able, but a get-away of some sort might really be helpful to you.

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  22. This post literally reached out to me in my exasperation for an answer to my current pain and struggle. Thank you for being…

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  23. Thank you, Marc and Angel, for this article, which once again, is on point.. While a lot of your articles resonate with me, I haven’t commented before, but felt I wanted to this time.

    I’m currently trying to deal with one of those “difficult things in life”.. I’m a 37 year old who doesn’t have his shit together because of a dysfunction childhood and only now trying to create a more stable life and future. I’m still very much in the process and don’t know if I’ll be successful, but reading your articles certainly helps to calm the anxiety, and keep things in context and petspective. You see, I’m basically starting from the bottom since I didn’t even graduate from high school, and that thought scares the shit out of me and what that means for my future.

    I am a lot better at practicing gratitude though, I’ve eliminated my bad habits, started exercising and eating more healthy and balanced, made it through anxiety, depression and sleep apnea without help from friends, family, doctors or medications and now trying to build on that. I’m thinking about going back to school to become a paramedic..

    Which brings is back to doing the “hard things” in life.. It is finding what is meaningful and what had purpose to you that will in part make you happy and fulfilled.. Along with practicing gratitude, not comparing yourself to others, doing what you can to live healthy, physically, emotionally and psychologically. Nurturing and building whatever relationships you already have because they can easily fall apart. Not dwelling on the past and not worrying about the future as much, but concentrating to live in the present.

    There’s a whole lot more, but I just wanted to express my gratitude for stumbling upon your FB page and being able to resonate with all the work you have done.. I don’t think you have can really grasp the amount of impact you have in others lives..!! Keep going, doing what you do.. Creating positive, tangible differences in the lives of others while growing that as your business..

    Thanks once again.

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